Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
