Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
