I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
