ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
True strength comes from lack of pants
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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