i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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