it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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