I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
