just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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