names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
