He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
