I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
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