but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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