How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
