I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
