Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
