A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
