I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
