How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
We left the knife in your bed.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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