Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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