I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
