she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
