Those balls look pretty dangerous.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
