I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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