Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
