Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
