Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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