dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just pee around me
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
