Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
