yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
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