How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
