Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
