After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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