How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I could fuck to npr.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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