found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
