we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
