I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Randomize
