I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
