These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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