they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Never joke about your clitoris.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
