Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
