i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
