I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
