Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I AM VODKA MAN
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
