did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Randomize
