i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
