I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
So much Jack, so little girl.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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