As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
