hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
