I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
