Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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