I faked an abortion last night.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
